Difficult Time Ahead

There is a difficult time ahead for my family. It's going to be hard on me. And it will be harder on my wife. But it will be even harder on my almost-16-month-old son, because he's going to be having open heart surgery to replace his aortic valve next month.

I'm not so much worried about the actual procedure. My son is in God's hands and I trust Him, no matter what happens. Even if my son were to die I will still trust Him. The suspense on the day of the surgery, the fear of a visit from a gowned hospital employee whose face appears just a little too grave... those are things I feel equipped to handle.

What bothers me is that my son will not understand why he is in pain, and it's going to hurt. He is so active and energetic, and he'll not only have his chest cut open but will be poked full of holes for various tubes and wires. The breathing tube hurts and is really unpleasant. It hurts to cough. He hates sleeping on his back and that's where we're going to have to try to keep him. The list goes on and on.

What happens to a child's trust in the world, in his parents, when he goes through that kind of trauma? I wish I could spare him all the pain. But my wife and I will definitely be there with him to comfort him and do our best to be the present, loving parents he needs.

I wish that instead of taking seven work days off for his surgery, we could take the same eleven days (including weekends) to go to Disney World or the Grand Canyon or have some other fun vacation.