Tuesday, January 8, 2008

A Very Curious Thing

The more aware I become of my own brokenness and tendency toward disobedience to God, the more I rely on him and turn to him and more desperately need him. And that's weird, if you think about it.

Because on the one hand, depending more fully on God could be described as good and growing in spirituality. And tending toward disobedience, especially with an increasing awareness of it, could be described as evil and lacking in spirituality. So which is it?

I'm inclined to think that I am noticing it more, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily increasing. It's that I am more aware of what has always been there. So whether there's a net change in corruption (and I sure hope there is in the lesser direction) there's definitely a net change in my trusting God.

And that's a good thing.